Episode 31 Summary – How is Marriage Doing these Days?
Marriage has changed over the last several decades. Probably most notably in the last 50-60 years. Women’s movements initially focused on legal rights such as women’s suffrage, but eventually expanded to touching on every area of women’s experience—including politics, work, the family, and sexuality. And thanks to technology, these movements have expanded globally and are more unified. Other things that have impacted marriage include technology, employment, education, shifting public attitudes, demographic changes, perspectives on religion. Of course, these haven’t occurred in isolation. They are very much interconnected. We are going to discuss some of the most recent marriage trends!
Episode 28 Summary – Reasons You Should Get Married
In this episode we will be talking about reasons to get married that have nothing to do with love. Marriage is often portrayed as a simple contract which can be broken or even renegotiated at some point down the road. But that should not the case. People get married for different reasons. For some it’s an issue of convenience while for some it’s time to get married. Love should be a big part of your marriage, but as discussed, there are lots of other factors and benefits that come from such a fulfilling relationship. There are several reason to get married. While most people marry to be with the person they love, most of what your marriage accomplishes has nothing to do with the feeling of love.
Episode 22 – Nonstop Marriages: Communicating Early and Often
Many couples haven’t figured each other out and some are not patient enough to do the work to figure each other out. Some want to be heard but they refuse to listen; some listen but never speak up; some keep scores and then bury their spouse with examples and evidence of mistreatment or they overwhelm their spouse with examples of how great of a spouse they have been. We spend a lot of time trying to teach our children the importance of being vocal about their needs and feelings. When it comes to their responsibilities at home. We have a set of family values that basically suggests how we are to treat each other, how we talk to each other. Everyone in our house is accountable to those values. So our children can call us out if they feel that we are being unfair or violating their rights as children. If you are a leader in an organization you know the value of checking in with employees and owners, so how much more do you need those checkins in your marriage?
Episode 21 – Nonstop Marriages: The Practical Things
Have you sat down and considered your values, your vision, your passion, and your purpose. Have you been paying attention to your health, your wellness, your wealth and how all these things operate with each other? Some people sacrifice health, wellness, passion and vision for wealth. While others are able to acquire wealth and progress through their passion and purpose while paying attention to their health and wellness. The fact remains that when some of these practical things are absent from your personal life, you start looking at things and people to blame, and a lot of times, we blame the person closest to us – our spouses, our marriage, our children.
Episode 19 – Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Prize (Pt.3): Danger of Entitlement
In this episode we will be talking about how to protect your marriage from the dangers that come with entitlement. Remember that people compare themselves to others because they want to know two things: Am I doing good or am I doing poor?
So to get an answer we invite others into our lives. Unfortunately, a lot of times we invite negativity in our marriages by how we portray ourselves to others and the things that we go after. Some couples might situate themselves around certain crowds in order to come off as having a certain status simply because another couple has something that they feel entitled to. This opens up a door for what we call the danger of entitlement.
How do we know that we have what we deserve? Well we look at the person beside us to see how they compare to us, then we look at what they have, decide how valuable that is, and then decide whether or not we should have it. Having the right to something is called entitlement.
Episode 18 – Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Prize (Pt.2): Warning Signs
When you get married, you want to be around other married folk because the thinking is that other married couples will help you navigate your marriage. The old notion of iron sharpens iron. Unfortunately iron wounds flesh. This is because there is so much to marriage. Not only do people want to build other relationships with other married folk, they are more likely to establish relationships with others with whom they share commonalities – cultural, professional, or just interest.
Leaders tend to surround themselves with other leaders because they face similar paths. CEOs tend to be friends with CEOs. Politicians tend to be friends with other politicians. Professional athletes tend to be friends with other professional athletes. So in these cases, couples tend to connect which is good because they can share in their experiences. The question is, how important is this? Is it valuable or is it dangerous? Off the bat we can see that the more couples you surround yourself with, the greater the risk of wanting to compare your marriage with others.
Episode 17 – Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Prize (Pt.1): Don’t Compare
People compare themselves to others. They want to know two things: am I doing good or am I doing poor? I played sports growing up and my most memorable years were in high school. I knew who the best guy on my team was, who the best guy on the other teams were, and who the best guys at the next levels were at college or professional. This information is very valuable because it gave me a benchmark to compare my progress in sports.Some people compare themselves to others to see if they’re better or worse and choose where to spend most of their time. This happens inside marriages between the two spouses where they keep score to determine who is the better spouse.
Episode 15 – It’s Not Entirely My (Spouse’s) Fault, Is it?
Many people show up to marriages with mental disorders that never get addressed.
And when you get married, its for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and unless the person is limping or carrying around oxygen mask or smoking 20 a day or having whiskey and frootloops for breakfast, then we think they’re ok, but a lot of times they’re not.
Episode 10 – I Wasn’t Expecting That
It is important to approach your marriage with positive expectations because it motivates you to work for the marriage that you want, while for others it settles your mind and apprehensions on the type of marriage that you don’t want. Sometimes you enter into a marriage where you both have stable and steady careers with lots of room for progress. Some others have negative expectations based on past experiences which causes them to throw in the towel early and just go through the motions or walk away sooner than planned, or as soon as planned.